Expectations and Reality

Times have been tough here- I think we are really coming to a point where our expectations and the realities of Otoxha and our experiences here are coming to a head. We are really being challenged by the people and their culture. Brian gave you a good look at the men and even a little about the women here and this description really plays a part in our work here. Its so amazing how much they are only worried about themselves, the only time they care about others is when it offers some new gossip to spread around. With the women's collective we finally have one woman, Adela, who is more than motivated to learn and share. She is really the only things that keeps me going. She mobilized one other woman to participate as well but she won't talk directly to us even though she knows english well and is afraid to be seen at our house by other woman in the village. Every day the women ask us where we are going and why, not out of innocent curiosity but out of this jealousy that exists among all of the women. When we are down in town, the women come into our houses to snoop around- we know this because we tie our door shut before we leave so the dogs don't push their way in and when we return our basic square not is replaced by a hammock knot. They also still come and stand at our door and just stare at us, and even if our door is shut stand and peak in through the cracks. Oh, its quite exhausting at times. Its now an almost daily ritual to spend time at night re motivating ourselves and trying to remember why we are here and to keep going strong. We are still getting good work done are having successes with the gardens and we just have to keep focusing on that and moving ahead- its only 2 1/2 more months and we are trying our hardest to make the most impact that we possibly can in such a short time.

The Men of Otoxha/Vent Session

The men of Otoxha are a very, hmmmm a macho bunch. For example the culture certainly is paternalistic and the gender roles are well defined. The men farm and during planting season are constantly busy, out nearly every other day in the early morning to mid-day. You'll see them all with a machete and rubber boots tired from certainly a long walk from their farms which are far from the village. This is because they use slash and burn tactics and don't want their city to become the next ash farm. I would say from some discussions with the men I've had on the whole farming business, in total it takes about 8-9 months of the year. Right now from June to September the men are idle while waiting for harvest.

The other tasks men have consist of fishing and hunting gibnut, playing football(soccer) going to church and on occasion some will go to town to get drunk. Actually it's not a bad deal for them, I would say it's extremely rare not to find a man laying in his hammock while his slave(wife) works. His slave which in Otoxha is a rather miserable bunchworks constantly all day, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and taking care of the children. The only kicks the slave has is talking about people behind their backs and laughing about someone getting seriously injured or just telling lies about people to create community division (which in Otoxha there is many). After two months the women almost violently refuse to help each other, and when offered an opportunity to benefit the community will possibly yell at you. All the while the man bosses from his swinging throne.

I wish I had a better outlook of the men and women here, I wish I had more time to be here so I could really penetrate their culture and fix some colonial and religious deviations that severely effected them in past history, Of course not all are really that bad, Adella an amazing person, who is motivated and really wants to learn everything we offer is actually not from Otoxha, which doesn't surprise me. And some families once you get them one on one and help them with the garden or other projects and compliment them, really for an instance seem very nice. And after this task they usually ask you "hey can you show me how to do this" or "yea teach me this now" and we say "well why were you saying no to this at the community meeting or saying nothing at all?" It's clear to see they want to benefit themselves to one up their neighbor, which in principal I stand firmly against.

After two months many of our hopes have been crushed. Some still glimmer with a fading light. But at least now we know the people more and aren't blinded by ignorance. Still we are determined to help, knocked down by reality none the less and ready to stand back up.

Week 5-6 Report and Some Comments

These past two weeks we helped the school prepare for a big football marathon/fundraiser. Unfortunately it was cancelled at the last minute because the prize money that was promised by Eden Martinez didn’t come. We continued working on the mural for the library that is now in its final stage needing only a few touch ups and then it will be finished. We are still pushing the gardens and are about half way finished. We have asked the principal Mr. Ac if we can use his truck to get wood from the abandoned lumber yard for the families who need fences. Once this is done many families will be ready to plant. This was also graduation time and we helped Mr. Ac set up for his daughter’s graduation party that was on Saturday. It was quite the party to prepare for. We now have two women who are committed to doing literacy classes, math classes, and computer classes. This is a part of starting the Otoxha Women’s collective where the women can work together to be empowered and independent. We are hoping that a few more women will join but are focusing our attention on those who are motivated to learn. We also began a nursery of orange and lime trees, we were aided by a few local children who took great joy in helping us.

Comments:

Since last reporting our time has been much better spent in the little village of Otoxha. We were reeling from cultural shock for nearly two weeks and now all is settled and better. I think it's a rare thing for people to wake up in the morning and see so many different varieties of baby animals(including humans) walking around making all sorts of noises and wobbling behind their mommies. It's something I am always grateful to see and will cherish it because surely this is one of the few places to have such a joyous experience as this. In the U.S. agro-business has destroyed the humbleness of the small farmer and the lives of the livestock, so they can make a sickening amount of profit while hiring the least amount of Americans possible. Baby animals can be sure to be tortured their whole lives in a pen the size of themselves, but here it is different and even though this last week I experienced the slaughter of 5 grown pigs I was grateful to see them roam free and happy for years before we enjoyed them.

Till next time, Brian

A Crazy Week

On Monday we left Otoxha to attend our biweekly meetings in Bella Vista and had decided to pack our stuff in  hopes of spending the night in the office. We were right smack in the middle of feeling so incredibly homesick and exhausted. We got down to the office and wrote up our report for the two weeks that had passed and waited for everyone else to get there. The meeting was supposed to start at  9 and at around 9:30 we had a feeling something was up. Finally our project leader Pantaleon showed up and it turns out the meeting had been canceled but we never got the message. Anyways Pantaleon agreed that we could stay the night.It was much needed.The next morning we got up and went to the bus stop but as we were approaching we saw the bus we needed drive by without us. This was the last bus that would get us where we needed to be in order to take the next bus up to Otoxha in time. So we had yet another night to be rejuvenated.There really isn't much to do in Bella Vista and this forced us to take naps and read and organize our plans for the rest of the week. Really we just needed a little time to be allowed to grieve. Its hard to be in Otoxha and rest because we always feel like we should be doing something so it was actually nice to be able to sleep and cry free from guilt. Wednesday morning we awoke feeling a thousand times better and ready to get back to work. We had created a new list of things to work on, strategies to try out, etc.We made the bus and took the long journey back up to our village. We arrived and cooked up lunch and cleaned a little. As we finished  eating we heard a car pull up and a man's voice. We were very surprised to find Pantaleon there at our door. He came in and explained that the office had called him and told him that our Visas expired that day. We were surprised and went to find our passports to check as we were almost positive we had until the 10th of June. It turns out he was right- it said 01, not 10. We had literally been there for no more then an hour and we were packing up our stuff to leave again. We didn't have time to make it all the way to PG in time so he called and made an agreement with the imigration officer. Once again we went to the office in Bella Vista to stay the night so we could back to PG in the morning and get our visas extended. The next morning our checks were supposed to be delivered early so that we pay the extension fee. However, the person who was supposed to bring them had car troubles and then the person that signs the checks was gone, and so on. Needless to say we didn't get the checks until after 11 and therefor didn't make it to PG until 1:30. Once we were there and arrived at the immigration office we had to sit and wait for the officer to arrive. Even immigration moves in Belize time. We didn't finish the whole process until almost 3, long after the bus to Otoxha left. So, once again, we took the bus back to Bella Vista to spend yet another night in the office. The next morning we woke up early and took the bus back to PG. We decided to wait until 2 to take the school bus instead of 12 for the regular bus so we get all of our supplies and stuff taken care in hopes of not having to come back down for  our regular Monday trip. We got our food and water and some things we needed for the project and took the bus to the dump where we would find the school bus. We sat and waited but saw no school buses driving by. This is very unusual compared to the constant flow of them that we normally see. We finally asked someone and it turns out that yesterday was a half day. We couldn't believe it. We had no other choice but to make our way back to Bella Vista again. So here we are 6 days later, in PG waiting for the bus once again. This time we will be sure to make it there plenty early. We left Otoxha at the beginning of the week feeling rundown, low on energy motivation and are now returning eager to get back to our village and back to work! What a crazy week indeed.